I write from a wish to document life as my memory is notoriously bad. When I come out the other end of this I want to be able to look back and see where I have been. Your history makes up a big part of your sense of self and presently, the majority of my history has been lost in dissociative amnesia. Makes sense then that my sense of self is a bit fragmented too.
About the main author, Bourbon: 25. Graduated with a psychology degree in 2012. Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder in 2011.
Other members of the system who may/may not blog (in no particular order):
Bourbonny – 25
LJ – 11
Mary – 30
Margaret
Anger/Benny
Poppy – 16
Bee – 16
Jason – 15
Matilda
Alice – 4
Alex – 4
Kerry – 8
Bobby – 2
K – 11
Krystal – 10
Beth
Jay
Wenda/Wendy – 28
Mrs Introject - Mother introject
The Witch – personified emetophobia
Cat is my current therapist.
Other diagnoses in the system:
Anorexia Nervosa (and now osteoporosis)
Emetophobia
Social phobia
Toilet phobia
PTSD
BPD
OCD
Depression
Generalised Anxiety
Mutism
“like” how you are pretty clear about ‘everything’; kinda helps. Willing to bet you can add “C-PTS” to your list (I have mine). Don’t know if this helps any, but we’ve found “anxiety” is based upon a mix of emotions; separate each one to find the form and who with.
You and I are cut from much of the same cloth, they say strength in numbers helps, we all must stand together, if only to hold oursleves together.
I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award: http://themirthofdespair.wordpress.com/2012/06/17/awards/
I just nominated you for the beautiful blogger award. http://mm172001.wordpress.com/2012/06/19/beautiful-blogger-award/ Love reading your blogs, keep it up.
Came over to take a look when you showed up in my followers (thank you!) and love your site. Thanks for being so open. I’m moderator for a forum which has a number of people with DID and I REALLY appreciate the opportunity to learn more about what’s it like (mainly so I don’t do something stupid and make it harder for someone.) Looking forward to reading your stuff.
AG
Thanks for returning the favour! Looking forward to reading your posts too (hence the follow
). What boards if you don’t mind me asking? I’m glad to hear you like my site – I appreciate that thank you. Looking forward to getting to know you! B
The forum is the Psychcafe at myshrink.com. You can find it at http://www.psychcafe.ca It’s a great community with a lot of really insightful, caring people. I also link to it on my “About” page.
Looking forward to getting to know you too!
Hi,I just found your blog through a Psych Forum from Google. Anyway,just wanted to know if you had any grounding tips for my husband. He is 26 and has Bipolar Disorder & Dissociative Identity Disorder (both diagnosed in 2008). The alters are: Macey – 5,JonJon – 7,Tina – 8,Jessie – 10,Craig – 13,Caleb – 14,Earnie – 20,Jenna – 22,Kirk – 47 & a dog,Ralphie. Anyway,glad I found your blog and I will check it more in depth tomorrow! Have a great day/night!
Hi Amber – thanks for coming by
Grounding tips : well they are so unique to the individual that it is a matter of trial and error until you find what works for you/him.
My grounding techniques include: holding and smelling my guinea pigs, smelling my grounding perfume on my grounding soft small toy, very weak and very sugary tea, a cold brass dragon ornament at my therapists, looking around the room at noticing 5 things & 5 colours and saying them out loud, (going to sleep if possible!)…
I think the main thing is to find an anchor to the present that your husband will always associate with the here and now and making sure it is around as and when is necessary. Whether it be a smell, a taste, a vision, a touch, a sound… Whatever works best for him. As I said it is all so unique.
Hope you found my blog at least semi useful to help you both a bit.
B
i would be interested in blogging for you, if i could… i find your posts beautiful, and love the idea of a cooperative blog.
:]
also, thanks for the follow and comment, i find your page very inspiring and full of soul.
L
Hi L. It has taken me a while to reply to this message, I apologise, I have just been thinking about it. What would you like to blog about on my blog? Anything in particular? I don’t mind a one off every now and again if there is something you’d like to contribute? Thanks for your very kind words
B
I described you, then you go and describe me. I don’t have as many others but I can certainly relate!
It’s one of those things where you feel like you shouldn’t be happy others suffer from, but kind of make you happy that you aren’t alone. I should know by now, any weird thought I have, someone else is probably thinking exactly the same thing. xox
I knew I had emetophobia. I didn’t realise toilet phobia was a thing though. Wow! I just thought it was me?
Hey thanks for sharing that about yourself. It indeed helps me too to know other people are struggling with the same personal phobias. Toilet phobia is quite a wide ranging term that I keep tryig to find the courage to blog about. I have a very particular manifestation of this phobia as perhaps you do too? So glad to have ‘met’ you. Xx
I can’t quite figure out what my phobia is, its multi faceted. I somehow managed to go all my life coping with the phobias, sort of finding ways around them. One day, when the time is right, you’ll write about it.
I used to have really bad emetophobia too. It almost got in the way of me being a Veterinary Nurse, but I was so determined to do the job I somehow got over it, sort of de sensitized maybe? I still can’t cope with ill people, and I have a terrible phobia of being ill myself, but it’s not as extreme as it was xox
I’m glad the emet isn’t as extreme as it was. Personally I was housebound with it for years at a time (on and off) but like you I have found ways around all the phobias and have made them more bearable to live with. One day I wish I could be free of them completely but I know that is a pipe dream. Many professionals have also said they will be with me always. That has the power to depress me but I’ve lived this long with them, I can live more. Look forward to following your blog xx
Obviously after your comment, I couldn’t resist checking out your blog. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels the need to list “all of us” in the about page.
I know every person’s struggle is different and individualized (especially those with DID), but I’m glad to see another in as similar circumstances as they can be. It’s awful of me to think that’s comforting…but on some level it is…
It doesn’t sound awful. I am exactly the same which is how I ended up topic surfing and coming across your blog in the first place! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I’ve met so many people here who truly understand. It really helps.
i just looked up emetophobia as i have never heard of it before only to find out that i have it…i had no idea there was a name for it or that it was a phobia, i just thought anyone dreaded it. for me, it is the fear of vomiting and feeling nausea, wow i am so learning on here.
aww bucks
I am sorry you’re part of the emetophobia crew. I say that because I know how stinking it is (obviously). It has seriously, in some respects, ruined my life. It definitely has a name, it definitely is different from the normal person who just doesn’t really like throwing up. it is a chronic phobia that interferes with so much of life: socialising, eating, sleeping, working… If you ever want to talk about it then email me. I’ve lived with it for 14 years now I understand its insidiousness. xx
thank you, for me this particular phobia isn’t the worst one i have, i would say it was bad when i was trying to have a baby, i feared the sick side effects, but eating and socializing are okay for me. i worry about getting salmonella from raw chicken, but i will eat cooked. i fear food poisoning but who wouldn’t. It’s when i get stomach sick the panic is worst.
The sad thing is, I am not sure I will ever be able to have a baby because of the threat of morning sickness. That thought creeps up on me daily at the moment and never fails to depress me. I’m glad this phobia isn’t too bad for you. Truly x
Want to play a game of tag? http://dividedsroom.wordpress.com/2012/07/14/tag/
Hello. I’ve nominated you for the Reader Appreciation Award. It’s always nice to tell people you appreciate them.
http://makeupandmirtazapine.com/awards/reader-appreciation/
I nominated you for the Sunshine Award: http://themirthofdespair.wordpress.com/2012/07/18/sunshine-award/
In have nominated you for the Reader Apperecitation Award, I am always grateful to hear your comments and advice. http://whattodoaboutme.wordpress.com/2012/07/18/in-much-appreciation-thank-you/
i have your art ready to send if you are willing to email me your address
already????! wow you’re fast. I knew there was something I was supposed to be doing. I’ve lost your email address, AGAIN. I’m sorry I fail >.<
you didn’t fail! tellsafe@hotmail.com xo
Tagged you! Tag your it! lets play. See our latest post?
Carol anne
I’ve nominated you for 7 things about me. http://mm172001.wordpress.com/2012/08/02/7-things-about-me-award/ Sorry if you’ve already been nominated before. My brains been in a bit of a whirlwind lately.
Nice to meet you and find out more about you. I also suffer from Toilet Phobia, I didn’t actually realise that’s what it was called until recently. Looking forward to more of your blogs xx
Really? Well I’m so glad we found each other then as I can sure understand a lot about toilet phobic anxiety! Look forward to reading more of yours, too. Thanks for leaving me a message xxx
Yes definitely. You would probably laugh if you saw me trying to leave the house. I have to go in and out of the toilet about 20 times before I can leave… ‘checking’ to make sure I don’t need to go. Most people really don’t understand it. You’re welcome! xx
No I wouldn’t laugh because I know exactly what that is like!! I am not that bad now but I used to be just the same — and before bed, that was missions as well
Hi Bourbon, Thanks for the comment and like on “Ript To The Core (trigger warning)”. Your comment is very encouraging to me.
Hello, I nominated you for the seven things award – http://meandanxiety.wordpress.com/2012/08/13/seven-things-award/ You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, but it’s to say thanks for welcoming me. Maxi x
I didn’t know where the best place would be to say this, so I’ve gone for here.
Each time I read your blog, that Avalanches song gets stuck in my head. I sit for hours, occasionally shouting “that boy needs therapy!” in a bizarre falsetto, making an utter fool of myself. Cheers for that!
Haha yes me too. I have that song in my head very often- though my fav part that I like to belt out every now and again is “you’re a nut- you’re crazy in the coconut”! For obvious reasons
indeedy- thanks for reading my blog anyway 
xx
Haha! I love the tune, so it really makes me smile.
“…and he also made false teeth!”
“can you think of anything that talks..other than a person?”
nice to know we’re not alone.
God bless you
=) no, never alone, not when we have the internet at our finger tips. Thanks for popping by xx
I have awarded you with the Strong Person Award. An award I made myself and has been a pleasure to award all of you well deserving people.
Feel free to collect your award here: http://quietbpd.wordpress.com/2012/08/19/strong-person-award/
All the best,
The Quiet Borderline
http://quietbpd.wordpress.com/
Hi Burbon, can I have the password for Alice dancing? Inviziblepain@gmail.com
Thanks:)
Ip
Absolutely, sorry for the delay! x
Thanks for liking my post – it led me to start reading your timeline of posts, which I’ve found really enlightening and rather moving. You are doing something great here by blogging about your experiences; I hope you feel that the support you are offering others is reciprocated. I’ll look forward to following your progress.
Thank you. The support I offer others is most definitely reciprocated. This place has come to mean a lot to me which is why I can post many times a day! Thanks for the lovely comment and thanks for reading x
This journey of yours is very interesting. I love your intro! Yaz
Thank you Yaz. Love your name! X
Hi and thank you for the comment
Very happy to have found this blog, it helps to find other people similar to me. I don’t have DID but I do suffer from SA, depression and used to suffer from Anorexia as well.
I am looking forward to reading more posts from you, your posts are quite intriguing!
Haha… intruiging in a good or bad way
Thanks for popping by xx
Bourbon,
I’ve just started to branch out a little and find other blogs. I’ve seen your comments here and there on other blogs and thought I’d drop by to officially say hello, so… Hello!
Evan
I am sure I responded to this already! I am sorry…. Hi Evan! Glad to see you here =) xx
This is just a flying visit (I’m not really in the right mind to read or write anything heavy). I’m just popping in to say I found these on the internets and I thought of you
http://www.truffleshuffle.co.uk/store/raggy-dolls-c-776.html
I’ll be back soon!! xox
omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg I LOVE THESE!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much!!! I am going to get one!!!!!! xx
Bourbon, you’re great. The song I relate to that stays in my head is “Flagpole Sitta”; by Harvey Danger. “I’m not sick, but I’m not well..” Oh, and I followed that raggy dolls link out of curiosity, and if I had any money I’d be getting one too – I even bookmarked the site. Anyway, I second every nomination you’ve gotten; I was just going to nominate you for beautiful blogger; I still am but was glad to see someone beat me to it:)
Hey and thanks for leaving such a lovely message
Really lovely that you were going to nominate me for the beautiful blogger award – thank you. That line from that song reminds me of the line from another song: “i’m not crazy i’m just a little unwell” 
Glad you liked the raggy dolls link too. I need to get it on my front page so more of us can appreciate it! xx
I like the “a little unwell”. Do you remember what it’s from? I usually have a really hard time remembering stuff like that, which is frustrating because I used to be pretty good at it:) Blessed Be, love, remember how strong you are:)
Matchbox Twenty – Unwell…. I think…. Thank you so much xx
Ah, thank you. I’ll check it out!
Hi Bourbon, I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog award. You can check it out here: http://wp.me/p2DUBF-4v
xx
Your expressions here are open and clear. I can see how this blog could help many people suffering from DID and a whole other subset of issues, many of which you face within your system. Looking forward to keeping up with you.
Thank you Grainne, really appreciate that. Thanks for being here =) x
are you doing okay? haven’t heard from you as much…wanted to check up and let you know I’m thinking of you xo
Thank you, I’m okay. Struggling a bit with some things going on round here. I’d email you but it wouldn’t go through
Thanks for thinking of me though xxx
sorry to hear that you could pm me on facebook if you want…i don’t know why the email is not going through?
Why did I not think of that?! Facebook! Plonk :/ lol…. xx
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Why would someone say your blog is abusive? I couldn’t find the post to comment on so am commenting here instead. I hope you get your blog back soon
Oops, it looks like I can still read your blog
Are you able to post again or was it a mistake?
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Hi Bourbon, my friend kelly who reads your blog sent me to your blog a while ago and I have to say you are so courageous for writing through your healing and your struggles! I also write a blog about my struggles and healing.. I love how honest and open you are to what you are going through..
do you have an email I can write you to? my email is saltare72@yahoo.com or you can contact me through my blog….
My bog is http://www.anewkindofhope.com
Hey Karen, thanks for stopping by and leaving a message. I have visited your site and have sent you a friend request on facebook; seems thats the easiest way to get updates from you as you’re not on wordpress? xx
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I am so glad I stumbled across your blog tonight.
I love how open and honest your posts are. I can’t even begin to understand the struggles you face everyday but I hope that writing this blog, helps you and others, in our journeys.
Thank you. Thanks for giving my site a read and for leaving me an encouraging comment. I appreciate that
Writing here helps me a lot and I wouldn’t be without it now! I think I’ve gone roots and am here to stay 
Heading over to check out your blog now! xx
You’ve been nominated for the ‘Blog of the Year 2012′ Award:
http://brandonbored.wordpress.com/2012/11/27/blog-of-the-year-2012-award/comment-page-1/#comment-784
Please accept a star.
I have just awarded you the Sunshine Blog Award. Check it out on my link http://infinitesadnessorhope.wordpress.com/2012/12/19/belated-acknowledgments-and-thanks/ CONGRATULATIONS!!! Cate
I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you knew of a place where I could find someone to talk to who understands – someone like you. I was hoping with your experience you might be able to recommend someone who could help and who would has experience in this. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Hi Blue, you are no bother. Why don’t you send me an email on my personal address: bourbonandchild@gmail.com and we can talk a bit more? I’m not sure if you’re looking for friends who would understand DID/dissociation, therapists, or online support groups but I am always happy to receive emails and help you in any way I can. Look forward to hearing from you, Bourbon x
here’s my friends secret site. i have to tell people individually as he has found my site and the bullying has begun. Could you pass it along to any who might be interested? http://bwitzwl.wordpress.com/about/
An Award for you!
http://lookingforthemissingme.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/q-a/
I thought I had once read this on here… “Mutism”… I’d be very interested in hearing about this from you. Also, because I really think I have this issue… xxx
hi. just wanted you to know that i enjoy reading your blog.you have a certain way with words that makes me want to keep reading on. i know how hard it can be living with DID so i dont know how you cope with all of the other diagnoses on top of that. anyway keep blogging i wish you the very best.
also forgive my cheekyness but would it be at all possible for me to read your protected posts? my email address is missbonny@hotmail.co.uk
thanks.
<3 to all your parts